The Unknown Ailment:

The Moments of No Return

Part-2:

The Unknown Ailment:

Around 8 years ago, one fine morning, in a small residential co-operative society in an industrial town, a retired old man from a PSU started feeling a sharp pain at the right side of his belly.

Living together with his elder son, daughter-in-law, wife was also living (a municipal counselor), younger unmarried son, both sons well-employed, all members well-educated, it looks like a happy upper-middle class well-knit family. Hence the eldest member, the man immediately consulted his eldest son, who was employed in a PSU steel plant. They took the father to the steel hospital, supposed to be the best in the entire district. They did a MRI scan and found nothing. Asking the old man not to worry, they said it may be simply acid, gas, gastric etc and asked him to be cool and resume his regular morning and evening walks.

The old man returned deeply perturbed as the pain has not subsided at all. He confided with his old time collegues who advised him to consult the old physician of the government hospital who was once a good friend of this old man.

He visited that old physician in afternoon, who frowned on the MRI report and asked the man to do a thorough re-check-up.

In evening, over supper, when the man discussed this issue once again to other family members, the responses were as below:

Wife : “You seems to be a bit paranoid nowadays, as you are retired now, have nothing to do, one small ailment here, one pain there, why to worry so much? When body is there, pain will be there. Can we escape pain? Why don’t you go for brisk-walking like, say Mr Sarkar or say Mr Roy is doing?

Eldest son : “Baba, don’t think too much, it’s a simply gastric problem, actually you should not take any non-veg at this age, and after dinner every night better take one zinetac. It’ll surely subside, no problem.”

Daughter-In-Law: “Baba, it’s nothing serious, my mother also had a burning sensation for around one month in her stomach, then she consulted a doctor, who gave her an antacid, and some food restriction, it automatically subsided. So please don’t keep much attention on it.”

Youngest son : “Baba, why don’t you also read Bhagvat Gita or Ramkrishna Kathamrita in night? These you know gives lot of mental peace? And I think it’s time you may start Satsang as well.”

The old man looked at the faces surrounding him and started having a strange gut feeling of hollowness and loneliness. These are the very people for whom he struggled lifelong and built up this house where all of them are sitting right now and staring at him in a strange manner.

*

The next morning a new problem occurred as the old man started to have a pricking sensation in one of his legs. The pain in belly-side has aggravated into a burning sensation. Coupled with this, there is a general feeling of numbness, weakness, feverishness.

His family-members showered him with lots of morale-boosting advises. However, in afternoon, he overheard a hushed conversation between his wife and daughter-in-law as he was going to washroom, feeling restless:

“See what I feel, the old man now needs psychological help. It’s called “buro boyshe bhimroti (illusions in old-age)”. The old humbug is now having all sorts of illusions of illness. Actually nothing has happened, but he is inventing these sicknesses and attracting our attentions.”

“Ma..you’re absolutely right, in our college also we read in psychology course that in old age people feels alone and they seek attentions. Moreover they feel insecurity about death and disease and always imagine that something is afflicting them. Baba is having the same problem. If it is not controlled strictly right now, he will create serious problem for all of us, more so for you.”

“That’s why I feel we should immediately consult a …or what’s the need of consulting…I think there are certain homes and asylums where they take this types of patients…”

“But ma, if baba is sent there, who’ll take his pensions, sign the bank papers, all these house papers…”

“That you needn’t worry, being a counselor I can surely move something, I am not an infirm like your Baba…house papers are all in my name, bank account is joint, I am his nominee in pension…so nothing will be lost. Moreover, after all, why I have entered municipality? For fun? These are very useful source of funds in emergencies.”

“I think ma you are really wise and foresighted…”

The conversation continued late. The man moved away, slowly, silently, inside the dark corridor leading to the washroom. The afternoon sun was gradually setting in horizon and the hazy darkness of dusk was engulfing the corridors of the apartments. Lights were yet to be turned on, which made the onset of dusk even more depressing.

*

He came up slowly, stressfully, to the roof of his house. A strange feeling flooded his mind, a strange sense of melancholy cry, there was no tears in his eyes, but tears well up within heart. This is something none else will understand, only those who has undergone these will realize this sense of extreme sense of hollowness. At these moments, the corners of the parapet-wall seems to be extremely attractive, and a feeling of hurt engulfs one’s mind, it mutters silently inside..”So that’s it…when I was there, none of you understood me; let me go away, when I won’t be there, you’ll miss me, cry for me, feel my absence dearly and recall me dearly.”

Agreed this is an illusion. In this merciless, ruthless, pitiless, worthless planet, no one remembers / recalls the departed ones after funeral. But there is no stoppage, no prevention of a badly bruised soul to temporary slip into his own world of merciful illusion.

*

There were lots of hue and cry that night in that otherwise sleepy and impersonal co-operative locality. Police came, so as friends of both the sons. Police took photographs of the dead-body of the old man and the location on the concreted surface in ground besides the garden where it was lying in a pool of blood. His family members were both aghast and terrified, pleading with the police that there’s no any reason for any of the family members to push the old useless man down the roof. The wife was exclaiming again and again that the old man was suffering from depression although he was having everything and was taken good care of. Very soon, the local MLA (a good friend of the counselor lady) also arrived in the scene. By late night it is ensured that death also becomes a mere statistics. The family members now became busy in searching for a good Hindu priest who’ll come and sanctify the place next day – after all it’s an unnatural death.

*

PS : During the post-mortem, it was detected that the person was having a malignant and benign tumor in brain which was actually pushing against some of the nerves that stimulates some region of one’s belly, legs etc. But that was of no significance now. 

RIP – poor soul.